


Five for One and One for Five

by gleefilled



Category: Pikanchi Life is Hard Dakedo Happy
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-19
Updated: 2009-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-04 20:04:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gleefilled/pseuds/gleefilled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The gang from Yashio try to go to Harajuku for the first time, but inevitably end up taking a little detour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five for One and One for Five

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sole_Sakuma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sole_Sakuma/gifts).



> I was so delighted to get your request! I hope you enjoy this story, and happy holidays!!!

For their first trip to Harajuku (tentatively named Operation: Girls GET!), all preparations were left in Takuma's capable hands. The others respected Takuma. Haru-kun might even go so far as to use the word "worship".

 

First there was the matter of what they were going to wear. Obviously they couldn't go dressed as they did every day around Yashio. They had to make a lasting positive impression. This caused a big argument between Chu and Takuma because Chu didn't see anything wrong with his jacket. It made him look tough and girls _loved_ tough guys.

 

"Do you really have any experience with that?" Takuma had asked, and Chu had punched him in the jaw, growling back that _Takuma didn't either_.

 

"But that's why we're going!" Shun had interrupted, trying to mediate. "I think Takuma's plan is a good one. If we are ourselves, we'll just be lowly citizens of Yashio. Why just stay as we are when we could become anyone?"

 

"Yes!" Bon had agreed in English, an enormous grin spreading across his face.

 

Haru had nodded quickly, muttering, "Takuma will make us look cool." He had pursed his lips seriously and looked at Chu who eventually had unclenched his fist and agreed.

 

* 

 

And so it was somehow decided and this was how they came to meet, at noon in front of the familiar statue, waiting for Takuma to arrive with "supplies". None of them were really sure what to expect.

 

"Ah!" Bon exclaimed. They all looked in the direction he was pointing to see Takuma approaching, no skateboard in sight and trudging instead in a trenchcoat. As he neared them, they noticed there was something strange about Takuma's appearance.

 

Chu raised an eyebrow. "Did you gain weight?"

 

"Yeah..." Shun said slowly. "You look... bigger. What happened?"

 

Takuma just smirked a crooked smile and undid the buttons on his coat. Everyone leaned back, half expecting to be flashed with boxes of condoms again, but instead there was just another jacket.

 

"This one is for you, Bon," Takuma said, peeling the jacket off. There was another one underneath. And another. And another. He continued this until he'd tossed each of them a matching black suit jacket and trousers.

 

Haru looked awestruck, running his fingers over the material as though he expected it to disappear at any moment. "Amazing," he kept saying to himself.

 

"Now we can go to Harajuku with a fresh start and no regrets!" Takuma said, raising a fist in the air.

 

Everyone smiled. "Yes!"

 

(As it turned out, Takuma had robbed the local dry cleaner after seeing a touring idol group drop off their concert costumes to be cleaned. Masquerading as the nephew of the part-time store-clerk, he'd snuck in and walked out, literally, with all five suits. 

 

It was the second time in recent memory that everyone had to sit back and acknowledge Takuma's genius.)

 

*

 

They decided that they would leave for Harajuku the following Sunday. That morning, they met at the bridge in their suits, with money and a map. Bon was in charge of directions, which, in retrospect, would turn out to be a terrible decision, but at the time it didn't seem too bad. He'd been really enthusiastic about it after all. Haru was in charge of managing their funds, pooling together the money they'd earned and rationing it out for food and entertainment expenses. All together they had nearly 40,000 yen between them.

 

They waved goodbye to their families and friends and neighbors, and walked together side by side, smiling with determination and optimism about what was to come.

 

When they were halfway across the bridge, Takuma yelled, "Carpe diem!" which Shun assumed was Latin for "Let's go get girls!" and they all echoed it and broke into a run.

 

*

 

It took them about an hour to realize that they weren't remotely near Harajuku. Somehow Bon had mixed up Takeshita Doori with Inokashira Doori and they were horribly lost. Haru kept sniveling into his shirt sleeve and huddling close to Chu's side for protection.

 

Shun was valiantly trying to continue their efforts in spite of the fact that they were lost, trying to talk to every girl they passed, with Tourette's-like outbursts of "Where are you going??" and "Hey! Do you want to go somewhere together?" One of the girls had actually shrieked and run away, but Shun seemed undeterred. The rest of them looked rather defeated. Even Takuma, who was so excited earlier, was now hanging his head and turning their useless map over in his hands, muttering about how maybe they should just turn back. He stopped to toe the ground absentmindedly, feet clearly longing for a skateboard.

 

*

 

They stop at the next intersection and Takuma, Bon, and Shun disappear into a convenience store to buy drinks. When they come out again, they are shocked to see that Haru and Chu have been accosted by a pair of businesswomen, both looking at least in their late-forties.

 

"You're so _cute_," the one with graying hair sing-songs, rubbing her hand over Haru's face.

 

Chu yells, "What the hell are you doing??" but Haru seems helpless, curled against the bench he's sitting on with his arms crossed and his chin trembling. Bon's smile disappears as he looks seriously at the woman next to Chu. "Cute," he whispers, eyes narrowing with intent.

 

He saunters over to the woman, attempting a swagger and, holding out his can of grape soda, says in the coolest voice he can manage, "Would you like some of my juice?"

 

The woman looks him up and down and then bursts out laughing. "Hey, hey," she says, nudging her friend. "We must have wandered into a red-light district, right?"

 

Chu combs his fingers through his hair defiantly. "Excuse me? What are you talking about?!"

 

Shun takes a step backwards, pulling Bon with him. "Ma'am, we really are just--"

 

"It's okay!" the woman says cheerily. "It's a little early, but we _were_ looking for some fun!"

 

Bon smiles expectantly. Everyone else exhales wearily, faces contorting into varying degrees of worry.

 

"So how much for all of you for one hour?" the woman next to Haru says, reaching into her purse for her wallet. She smiles with all the mischief of a cheshire cat.

 

It takes the five of them a second to process the question. Then their eyes widen and they exclaim in unison, "_EH?!?!_"

 

Chu balls his fingers into fists and knocks them together. His lip curls up into a snarl. "Get lost!!" He looks at the others for back-up and they scratch their heads and nod meekly. 

 

The taller woman flips her hair dramatically and sticks out her chest so suddenly that Haru and Takuma's knees knock together in reaction. "Well if _that's_ how you're going to be--" she starts, taking a step toward Bon so that her body is pressed against him; his eyes glaze over momentarily. "--then we'll just be going."

 

The one next to Haru huffs and links arms with the other and the two strut off, swaying their hips from side to side exaggeratedly as they go.

 

Shun's eyes follow them, dumbstruck. He thumbs the cuff of his suit. "They really thought we were--"

 

"_Don't_ say it," Chu interrupts, shuddering.

 

"We could have used the money," Haru pipes up robotically. His right hand is squeezing at the air in front of him.

 

Takuma waves a hand in front of his face, trying to break him of the spell. "Let's just go back to Yashio," he says.

 

The five of them start heading back in the direction they came from and, with Takuma as their new navigator, begin to make slow progress.

 

*

 

That is, until they pass the shop with the topless neko schoolgirl figurine that makes them all stop dead in their tracks.

 

"Jesus!" Bon exclaims, eyes wide. His ears turn red and Shun imagines steam whistling out of them. His own cheeks are probably just as red, and Chu smirks, jabbing Takuma in the ribs, and the two chuckle. All their reactions are outdone, of course, by Haru, who rushes up to the glass, smooshing his cheek against the window display so his face suddenly resembles a Picasso painting.

 

"She's really amazing," Shun breathes with a tone of reverence.

 

Haru nods furiously, his hair fanning out against the glass as he moves his head. Takuma's brow furrows. He looks at the locked shop door. Then he looks at Haru's hopeless hands splayed against the glass.

 

"Let's take it," he says with simple matter-of-factness, giving Shun a crooked smile. Bon agrees with an immediate thumbs up.

 

Shun looks around worriedly. "Won't we get caught?"

"Maybe it's a good thing we didn't make it to Harajuku," Chu muses. The street they're on is completely deserted. It looks like a ghost town save for the single dazzling erotic shop display, the figurine's two enormous breasts beckoning like twin searchlights.

 

"Please." Haru's voice is muffled against the glass. "Please, let's get it."

 

*

 

In retrospect, they could have tried something more subtle than Chu attacking the window with a deafening yell and a violent, karate-chop smash. And had they gone just one block over, they would have seen the well-patrolled police box.

 

As it was, they didn't, and they hadn't, and now they were all running from two surprisingly agile policemen, Chu's hand gushing blood, Bon shouting English expletives, and Haru, face scrunched up in determination, clinging to the half-naked figurine with a death grip.

 

*

 

They ran and ran, only vaguely aware of the direction they were heading, but somehow they managed to get back to the bridge and stopped, doubled over and out of breath, finally aware that they were no longer being chased.

 

Haru held the figurine high in the air like a gold trophy.

 

"Next time, we take the train," Takuma said, but he was smiling as he said it. He snickered and prodded Haru, who was now completely unwilling to let go of the girl he'd worked so hard to protect. They all laughed and Chu, not seeming to notice that he was still bleeding profusely, ruffled Haru's hair affectionately.

 

*

 

As they crossed the bridge, heading back to the familiar sights of Yashio, Bon began to sing--

 

_Slowly, I'm walking on the road._

_Where does it lead to?_

\-- and soon they all joined in.


End file.
